Children Grieve Too...

Children may face many significant losses as they grow. When someone close to them dies, it can be traumatic and have a serious impact on their growth and development. Often their pain is not recognized by others, making them the "forgotten grievers."

In the midst of their own confusion and pain when a death occurs, adults may be uncertain about how to give the care and support children need. Some children may develop unhealthy patterns of expressing their grief, and may experience physical complications, depression, anti-social behavior, failure in school, or involvement with the judicial system.

Grief is a natural response to death for people of any age, including young children. If you are old enough to love, you are old enough to grieve. A significant death has an impact on both the inner and outer worlds of the child or teen. The expression, duration, and intensity of grief will be unique for each individual.

Children can grow through grief when given care and support. Peers can be a valuable part of that process. Adults can help the healing process by listening to and supporting the many feelings, thoughts, and meanings, which are part of the loss experience.

Children experiencing the loss of someone close to them grieve deeply but differently from adults depending on their stage of development. Young children experience "magical thinking" and often do not understand the permanence of death. Children aged six to eight are beginning to understand the permanence of death, but do not yet understand it is universal. They want to know if death is contagious and if they are safe.

Older children understand that death is universal and are worried about how their world will change. Adolescents have almost an adult understanding of death, see themselves as immortal, and sometimes blame themselves as they search for the cause of death. Many children can grieve normally with their family and will not require counseling. However, if your child is experiencing any of the following, counseling is advised: Denial of the reality of the death, persistent feelings of panic, prolonged feelings of guilt or responsibility, chronic apathy or hostility.

NORMAL SYMPTOMS OF GRIEF IN CHILDREN

These should be temporary and gradually improve:

• Regression to bedwetting, thumbsucking
• Numbness or "shock"
• Whining, crying or clinging to you
• Reduced ability to concentrate
• Major changes in eating and/or sleeping patterns
• Roller coaster ride of emotions--- highs and lows
• Hyperactivity and "acting out", temper tantrums or aggression
• Poor school grades, bad behavior in class.

WARNING SIGNS

These are some warning signs that may indicate a need for professional counseling for your child:

• Chronic health problems related to the stress
• Behavioral problems at home or in school that do not gradually improve
• Suicidal intention or fantasies, other than fleeting thoughts.
• Withdrawal, lack of interest in formerly enjoyed activities that doesn't improve.
• Bad dreams that don't gradually decrease in frequency or intensity.

If you are wanting help, our counseling center provides individual, group, couples, and family counseling.

There are two ways to setup an appointment with one of our counselors:

1) Fill out the Contact Form and a counselor will call you with 24-hours; 2) Call our offices at 303-933-5800.